from Rom, Blicke

Freitag, 24. Nov. 72, L.M., ein windiger Tag, Regenbewoelkung, bleich-graues Licht, Herbst. Kam nicht zum Arbeiten, und ging mir diesen Keller ansehen, wie bereits gestern vorgehabt./Stieg wieder an derselben Haltestelle nahe der amerikanischen Botschaft aus, ueberall wimmelte es von Polizisten, irgendein Protest gegen irgendeine der zahllosen Verwahrlosungen, die taeglich auftreten, lief ab […]

Das Licht ist duester, man muss mit den Augen tasten, & tastet mit den Augen zuerst eine Fuelle als: Knochenfuelle, & vielleicht macht es diese Fuelle, die das Empfinden betauebt, stumpf macht, vergessen laesst, was man sieht – Stapel von Koepfen Stapel von Beckenknochen, Stapel von Arm & Beinknochen, Stapel von Schulterknochen…Das Grauen kommt langsam: ein Grauen ueber die Perversion, 1 Grauen an das Show-Tod-Business mit Toten, 1 Grauen ueber Menschen & Ideen, so etwas anzustellen, zu verfertigen – & 1 Ekel, ueber Bloedheit/Das Verloeschen des Einzelnen in der Totenmasse bis ueber den Tod hinaus

– Rolf Dieter Brinkmann. Rom, Blicke. Rowohlt, 1979

Friday, 24. Nov. 72, L.M. a windy day, raincover, pale-gray light, autumn. Couldn’t work and went to see this basement, as I had already planned yesterday./Got off again at the same stop by the American embassy, the whole place teeming with cops, some kind of protest or other against some kind of degradation or other, a daily occurrence, was taking place […]

The light is dark, one has to feel with one’s eyes, & with one’s eyes first feels a glut of: bone, & maybe it’s this profusion that numbs one’s senses, makes one dull, makes one forget what one sees – a heap of heads, a heap of hip bones, a heap of arm and leg bones, a heap of shoulder bones…The horror comes slowly: a horror of perversion, 1 horror of the show-death-business with the dead, 1 horror of men & ideas that would do such a thing, create such a thing – and 1 disgust of stupidity/the extinguishing of the individual in the mass of the dead even beyond death

(translation Miseraestupendacittà 2010)

(photograph found online, anonymous)

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